Ringing in the New Year...

So I was having a mini-break down since today would of been my 2nd beta...instead the office is closed...I caved and bought more tests just to make sure I was still prego...LOL!!

So Cheers to 2012 being our year!!

The eagle has landed

We are very much prego as my ivf nurse informed me!!! Lol!! She said of course I already new from the positive tests...I'm still in shock!!!

Beta 210 (they wanted it between 80-100)

Estrogen: 353

Progesterone: 34.3

Next beta tuesday...so far away!

Super anxious

I cannot believe tomorrow we will FINALLY find out if we are pregnant!!! It's seems like I have waited for this day for a lifetime.

I just have to say how lucky I am to have such love and support from family & friends!!!

I had a sweet friend monogram a onesie for me to give to my hubby once we got the call...since he's a pilot I thought it was only appropriate for the baby(ies) to be "daddy's little co-pilot"!!! Of course the pack of onesies came in 3...her girlfriend is the most witty shirt thinker-upper EVER...so she came up with 2 more ideas for the others in the pack!! They are so stinking cute :-) I'm sooo excited!

Of course I continued to pee on sticks all week and the result has been mind-blowing and numbing at the same time...I just cannot wait until the BETA results to really get excited!!!!

Anywho...I will report back tomorrow with stats!!

Getting caught up

As I sit here today reflecting back to our consultation on November 15, I would of never guessed we would of gotten this far this fast!  Within one month we went from no hope of getting pregnant in 2011 to transferring 2 embabies!  This has been by far the neatest, most surreal thing I have experienced thus far.

Our day 5 transfer went beautifully...although my husband wasn't in the room hold my hand...he didn't think he could make it through without passing out...it all worked out because he was able to record the transfer of the Twin Bens, which he wouldn't of been able to do in the room! 

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my Doctor...he was complimenting how awesome my lining looked and didn't see why this wouldn't work he also made the comment that he wouldn't just say this and not mean it!  This really made me feel great and hopeful that we would finally get pregnant!  It's a tremendous feeling when you know that your doctor genuinely cares about you.

I had taken off of work and actually stayed in bed for 3 days as they suggested after the transfer, which is probably a little dramatic, but sleeping all day was a nice change of pace!  It was nice to get back to work which has helped pass the 11 day wait until BETA a little easier.

We decided that on Christmas Day I was going to take a pregnancy test, which my pregnant BFF had left over and of course didn't need...must be the lucky box of pregnancy tests!  Of course I had to go purchase more because I couldn't only test 1 day...LOL! 

OMG!!!!

  I feel the fortune cookie I opened describes our situation PERFECTLY!!

I am soooo excited for our BETA on Thursday...although I am cautiously optimistic!

Merry Christmas to us!!!

Omg...We are soooo excited :-) There are no words to describe my feelings right now...but thought I'd stop by and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!!

Twin Bens

Here is the video of the 2 embryo transfer done...still working on cutting down the retrieval video...it's too long to upload!

Fly by

Just wanted to fly by and post a quick update/pics on today's transfer!

 Our 2 babies!

Grade 3BB

 Proud Parents after the transfer!

Big brother Coop checking out his future brother & sister ;-)

Nicole & Ian got us a "implantation" plant...so cute!

I will post more tomorrow once I have slept a little!!

Calling all eggs

What a whirlwind of emotions this week has been since my egg retrieval!  I wish I had a light duty job to keep my mind busy this week...but unfortunately that's not the case, so I have taken the week off until the 22nd!

On the day of the retrieval some friends and I had a bet of the final # to fertilize...whelp guess Mama knows best is suitable in this case...

My husband: 12
Me: 8
My BFF: 6
My hubby's BFF: 4 (didnt appreciate that too much...lol!!)

Day 2 Stats:
All 8 still fertilized
5-6 grade 1-2
4 cells
Tentative transfer day 3 :-( boo! I was really hoping for a Day 5 transfer to give our little embies a fighting chance.

We showed up @ 6:45 am today for my appt with yummy sweet treats from a friends bakery for the staff...which they loved!!! Figured I'd sweeten them up!!

Guess my sweetening up worked, because my Dr. went back to check on my "standby" transfer status...whelp...they were dividing properly!!! 5 of them were 8 cells and the others were 5 cells. 

Talk about a huge sigh of relief...I think this was the first time all week I smiled. I have been such a grump (blaming it on the hormones) hehe!! My poor husband probably wished that he had to work this week!!! Owell...he signed up for a hormonal wife by signing the IVF paperwork ;-)

Fortunately the butt crack of dawn appointment wasn't a total waste since I had to have bloodwork done today too!

 

Everything looks great:
Progesterone - 132.4
Estrogen- 2699

Our official transfer will be Sunday @ 12:30...sooooo excited :-) 

Day 1 Stats

Of the 17 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, 8 fertilized with ICSI.

I honestly have to say I was a little bummed when i got this call half asleep this am.  I am saying a little prayer to those eggs to continue to grow and divide properly!!!

I know it only takes 1 great egg to create a baby, but I was hoping for plenty of snowbabies for later!!

How many eggs are in my basket?

Our IVF egg retrieval was this morning...we had to show up @ 6:45 am and my retrieval began promptly at 7:15 am.  My doctor was in great spirits, which is always uplifting!  He is quite the character! 

Of course I had to have it documented by pics!!  And my awesome hubby even took a video of the actual retrieval while he was in the waiting area (I will work on posting that up later)!! 

Guess how many eggs they retrieved?

We are super excited and so grateful to be at this place in our lives!!

We will get our report tomorrow on how well our eggs are doing...crossing our fingers and toes for a great outcome!

Side note on my baby dad:  Poor guy had to do his deed in a room where you could hear the door slam constantly, people talking and a 1980 video to perform too...of course the wifi didn't work in there...owell...that's the easy part ;0)

Moving right along

Todays Stats:

E2: 1132
Lining: 11.63 (fantastic as per my Doc)!!
Lots of great follies growing right along....Range of 13-17mm

HCG Shot: Sunday @ 7:45 pm
ER (egg retrieval): Tuesday, Dec 13th @ 7:15 am
Transfer: 2-5 days (TBD)

This morning I was a ball of nerves before my appointment.  We are super excited that we are getting closer to our egg retrieval!!

Our BETA bloodwork will be on December 29...squeal!!!!

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive, super positive and sending good vibes my way...it means a lot :-)

Knock Knock

Here a joke for you:

*Knock Knock

-Who is there?

*Ting ting & ping ping

-Ting ting & ping ping who?

*Ting ting & ping ping YOUR KICKING MY ASS today!!

LOL!!  I even had to humor my Nurse by emailing her and asking her if this could be ovulation...because I felt crampy like I would with ovulation.  Instead of her emailing back she called...chuckling of course :-) She informed me that around day 7 is when things start really growing and what I was feeling was my follicles getting larger and that I would feel crampy and bloated...whew!!
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Ultrasound & bloodwork #'s from this morning. 

Lining: 9.96

E2: 420ish

Lots of follicles growing on each ovary...most +10mm (approx 12-14 on each ovary).

My Dr. told me that more than likely my retrieval would be Monday or Tuesday.
Another ultrasound and bloodwork on Saturday!

Not such a great start...

Yesterday's bloodwork for my E2 came in at 113, which is "lower" than they like to see.  My IVF nurse said that the 5 units of Lupron were suppressing my ovaries too much, so they lowered my dose to 2 1/2 units.  Last night she had me increase my Follstim to 225.  And this am she had me increase my Menopur to 150 and my Follistim will drop back down to 150.  Fingers crossed that tomorrows #'s come in better and the ultrasound looks promising!

It's weird how in tune you become with your body going through IVF.  I'm not trying to read into everything...but I can genuinely say that I didn't "feel" a whole lot going on down there over the past few days :( ting-ting and ping-ping were not in full effect!

They want to see the E2 level at 1,000-4,000 before retrival.   

Make a wish

As we progress in our journey through IVF I cannot help but make a wish that this will be our last photo session as a family of 3!!!

Here's some photos that we had taken for our Christmas Card this year!

 Cute idea I saw on Pinterest!

 My future baby-daddy ;) lol

 Happy Holidays from us!

My 1st born!

Currently I am on Stim Day 3...things are going well so far!  No complaints...I have named my ovaries "ting-ting and ping-ping" because when I inject the meds they start jumping around!  Tomorrow I will head in for bloodwork to see if I need to increase or decrease the Follistim!

Ovaries reporting to duty

This morning was the aspiration of my cysts on both ovaries.  First he wanted to do another ultrasound to check the measurements and see if they changed from yesterday.  The left side had shrunk a little bit, but the right ovary didn't budge at all.  From there I had trucked across the hall in a sheet to another room where the surgery would be performed.  That was a hilariously bizarre experience...let me just say orange vagina (from the betadine) LMAO!  I guess in those awkward situations I always have to be a little comical and my doctor was feeling quite humorous too, so it made the procedure feel like a breeze!  The procedure itself was a little uncomfortable "crampy like", but not painful by any stretch!

My lining looked great, cysts taken care of and 10+ follicles on each ovary that he could see are ready to rock and roll.  Now my ovaries are ready for some drugs!!!  Menopur & follistim begin tomorrow!

*Bloodwork on Tuesday and Ultrasound/Bloodwork on Thursday.

Another hurdle

The one thing I have learned through infertility is to never be TOO confident in what your body (in my case my ovaries) has in store!  Today was my 1st IVF ultrasound and bloodwork for my estrogen & progesterone levels.  The ultrasound showed that the cysts are still on both ovaries...of course they are...why wouldn't they be gone! AHHHH!!!!  The IVF nurse informed me that in order to begin the stim meds my bloodwork be based on my estrogen levels.

I of course knew that the phone call wasn't going to include exciting news to start shooting myself up tomorrow am with stim meds; instead she told me that the Dr. wanted to aspirate the little bastards TOMORROW!!!  OMG!  I guess it is better than "waiting" it out and remaining on Lupron to see if they shrink.  Remember we are on a time crunch: T-minus 30 days until the hubby leaves for 5 straight weeks, so let's aspirate some cysts! LOL

So here we are jumping over one more hurdle to our baby!  Positive thoughts ONLY....wooo-sa!

Let the changes begin!

I cannot begin to tell you how excited that I am getting for our upcoming IVF.  In the hopeful mindset that this IS going to work; I have begun making some changes!

Here is the 1st change so far:

I am back to being a brunette....EEEkkk!!!

I am a planner by nature...my hair appointment was due, so I thought about if when I do get pregnant it is going to be a LONG time before I could actually get my hair highlighted again and that would not be cute ;) LOL! 

I know the jury is out as far as opinions on hair coloring while in the 1st trimester, but if we are going in debt this much (not complaining at all) I am going to dot all of my I's and cross all of my T's!!

So here is to brunette's...it's been a long time that I have been close to my natural color!

Next change coming to order is: no caffeine and no more vino :-(

P.S. I almost cried in the chair, my stylist had to turn my chair away from the mirror while he was blow drying...haha!

Insomnia....you are killing me!

Me and my new friend insomnia are not getting along.  It all started a couple of weeks ago before the IVF consultation...maybe it's excitement, anxiety, worry.  Who knows but it's killing me SLOWLY!!!  I am a person who loves to sleep, which may be an understatement because I absolutely ADORE my sleep which is a trait passed straight on from my mom and anyone that interrupts my precious sleep pays the price ;-)

I usually wake up anywhere from 1:30 am - 3:30 am to use the bathroom or for no reason at all, but once I'm up I'm UP.  I may consider wearing some depends to bed here soon...JK!!!  I look over at my husband who has no idea I'm even up and my dog who is completely in his cozy dream land (he sleeps in the bed...I know)!

At one point in my insomnia state I remember thinking of this book and telling myself the title as a I laid awake!

So far everything is going well...I started the Lupron on Friday and I had my blood drawn yesterday, which everything came back as they wanted to see.  My next ultrasound and more bloodwork will be next Thursday to see if I am ready to start stimming!!!  Can't wait to officially get this ball rolling and make lots of follicles :-)

Pity Party...Table for 1!

This blog post was written a while ago, but the news wasn't to be shared until certain people knew!!

I knew this day would be coming sooner than later...I had just hoped that it would come later after we finally got pregnant!

My best friend Nicole, the one who started this blog for me called me one morning to inform me that we were going to have dinner that night...seemed kind of weird considering we usually only do things on the weekends together, but I went with it!! I had called my husband and told him that it was strange...he suggested that they wanted to tell us they were expecting...I laughed it off and then thought about it...we were on the same exact cycle, so it could be possible. Of course curosity was killing this cat; I had to call her and put her on the spot...I bluntly asked her if she was pregnant and she said yes! I was so overcome with emotions: happy for them, jealous of them, upset at my body, angry, joyful, sorrow, pity for myself. I talked with her for a while about how she was doing with the news and than she asked if we still wanted to do dinner; I had told her no way!! Of course she thought I was kidding...but I wasn't and at that moment I told her that I needed a pity party for 1 that night and I started to bawl.

I called my husband on the way to my dentist appointment, crying like a baby who just had just been scolded. Who was I kidding attempting to go on with the rest of my day, especially at the dentist...I worked through it and walked into the office looking like a hot mess as I sit down the most adorable little 2 year old walks up to me holding out her arms...OMG who is trying to torture me!!! Not only did the torture end there...I get my upper jaw numbed to only be told that they couldn't do anything for me....REALLY!!!! So here I am; red eyes from crying, numb mouth (probably drolling on myself), and utterly sad.

So, after a few margaritas and one more crying fit I began to feel like a terrible friend. I then realized I needed to pull myself together and be HAPPY for her and her husband! So I did exactly what she would do when she finds out a friend is prego...I went and bought and adorable stuffed giraffe, a card (which I never do...LOL) and a bottle of bubbly to celebrate this amazing time in their lives. I showed up at their house to surprise them...all I wanted to do was give her a big hug and cry some happy tears with her...instead I show up to an empty house...they were out to dinner!!! I guess that is what I get for being selfish!!

We could not be happier for them!!  They are going to make awesome parents.  I am so excited to think that we could actually be pregnant together!

My new stash

The shooting up has officially begun...with Fertility Meds of course : )

I cannot believe the stress I encountered over the past few days...I felt like a crack head waiting for her drugs...it wasn't pretty and this is just the beginning!

My IVF nurse faxed over my meds list to Walgreens specialty pharmacy in Texas on Wednesday afternoon; I of course called to follow up with the pharmacy...thank goodness I did...4 frustrated calls later my meds were being "overnighted" via FedEx.

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HAHA...the joke must be on my with my luck...I rec'd a phone call while at work from Texas Wednesday afternoon (a number I didn't want to see calling thru).  The call went something like this:

Her:  Hi, Crystal...this is Jaime with Quality Control for Walgreens

Me: Major heart thumping followed by a Hello (I think ;)

Her: The plane your medication was scheduled to leave on had encountered mechanical issues

Me: OMG...I NEED THOSE MEDS to begin tomorrow AM (holding back major tears and a break down)!  I even told her the issues I had with the pharmacy they probably didn't even send them out

Her: She assured me they did leave the facility and gave me the tracking # to prove it

Me: Well there clearly isn't much I can do at this point since they decided to wait 12 hours later to inform me of this mishap.
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I immediately emailed my nurse and called her...she said it would be ok to take it later on Friday....Thank God! 

I told my nurse the meds shouldn't arrive too late because the package was upgraded to "Priority" for delivery no later than 10:30 am.

Oh no friends the fun didn't end there..............

Every hour yesterday, beginning with a morning wake up @ 3:30 am was filled with anguish.  I have never realized how many trucks pass my work on a daily basis; well I know now!  FINALLY at 12:30 and 2 calls to FedEx later (thank you hubby) my beautiful box of baby meds was in MY Hands!

I'm sure it was a sight to see me ripping through the box finding the Lupron I needed to inject right away.  My co-worker said it looked like a Dr's office and proceeded to watch me inject my 1st of many many shots! 

I hope this is the only major stress that I will endure this cycle because it was too much.  I even found a meditation station on Pandora!

Here's a peek at the new addition to my fridge and counter!

Destination: Baby

Holy smokes...where should I begin?!

Our appointment yesterday went well...it was a crazy whirlwind that I didn't expect to walk out of there 2 hours later and have the process happen so fast! I am going to make it a little easier to follow by bullet pointing!!

*Arrive at our consultation to discuss our options for IVF. I can't believe it's been a year since I have last been in to their office. So in order to get things going full throttle (since I am on CD 18) he needed to do an ultrasound, bloodwork, and get things set up with our IVF nurse (information, meds ordered and all of the fun talk about lots and lots of shots)!!!

*He was concerned about the last time I had an HSG which was 2 1/2 years ago and also was cautious of the endometriosis findings from my laparoscopy, which were minimal Stage 1-2, but wanted to be 100% sure that it wasn't back in the form of fibroids or polyps. He called his Fetal Diagnostics Dr. friend to see if they could squeeze me in for a 3-D Pelvic Ultrasound. Got in this morning! YAY!! The tech performed the ultrasound and the doctor came in to review her findings. There was a small area on my uterus that looked like it could be endo; definitely not polyps or fibroids. he was confident this should not get in the way of pregnancy...let's hope he's right :)

*I received the call from my IVF nurse this afternoon with my bloodwork results. My progesterone was 10.1 which was a green light to begin taking Lupron on CD 21! She also informed me that my thyroid came back a little higher than they like, mine was 3.1 and they want to see it at 2.5, so I will begin taking thyroid medicine to help regulate it.

*Once I start my period at the end of the month I will then begin stimming and in for monitoring pretty much every other day!!

*Currently waiting for the nurse to email my fertility calender for the next month and a half...talk about checking your email every 2 seconds!!

We are so excited and grateful that we are finally opening a new chapter in our infertile lives!

Let's get this party started!

Since my last post a couple of things have changed drastically for us! My husband has finally landed a job after 2 1/2 LONG years; he will now fly for a commuter airline!!! Which in turn has prompted us to kick things into high gear with regards to IVF...scary and exciting all at the same time!! The reason we have decided it's time to step up to IVF is because he will begin training on January 3rd, which will last for 5 weeks straight...that doesn't really leave a lot of time to "practice making a baby"!! LOL!! After his training period is over he will be flying a lot since he will be the lowest guy on the totem pole.  So here comes a new chapter in our infertile lives...let's get this party started!! 

Our consultation with the RE is next Tuesday the 15th which is our 4 year anniversary...ka-winky-dink?! ;-)

I'll keep you posted!

CD 1 again...

Cycle day 1 again :( BOO!!!  I simply dislike having to purchase lady products every month...it makes me feel like my baby making efforts were worthless, but it's fun to "practice" haha!!

On a happier note; my husband and I hosted an awesome Toys for Tots Halloween Party this past weekend; we collected a ton of toys!  Thanks to everyone who came and donated!  We love being able to support children whose parents are in need of providing them a Christmas they deserve :)     

Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween!!  Can't wait to have a little one to dress up in cute costumes, for now the dog will suffer ;-)

Cheers to the Future Baby Benfield

Not only have we had to deal with infertility, we also are dealing with my husband being laid off around the same time that it all began, which has been a huge challenge for us, but we have perservered! I was hoping since he didn't have a job or insurance that we would get knocked up, isn't that how it usually happens...lol...well not for The Benfield's ;) But that is neither here nor there...we just can't stop baby dreaming...it seems like we are stuck in a rut and we just want OUT!!!

Now that you are all caught up on the fun roller coaster ride of infertility, we can focus on the present and hopefully NEAR future.

In a few months I will be turning the BIG 3-0 and I am scared and slightly disappointed at my body...I really thought I would be a Mom by now :( but instead of dwelling we have decided it was time to begin our new journey with IVF. Quite a few months back we attended the mandatory IVF seminar. The seminar was the doctors' way of prepping both of us up for the everything that we will encounter throughout the process of IVF. It will include a ton of doctors visits, a lot of meds, and a ton of patience!!

Just recently we were discussing our next steps forward, Kenny informed me that as a kid he joked with others children about them being test tube babies...whelp looks like the joke is on him ;0) It's funny how things come back to bite you!!

So Cheers to Baby (or hopefully babies) Benfield...we hope to meet you soon!!
　
　

The story of our infertile lives...!

A couple of months after firing Dr. Untalented and taking a little break from TTC (trying to conceive) I decided it was time to fire up the baby making engines and go full throttle!  Several friends referred us to one particular doctor, we felt our path was leading towards him.  On our 1st appointment, my husband and I sat in his office discussing what we have done so far in our TTC journey, concerns and many other things.  Dr. Wonderful was very easy to talk to and I felt really good about him being our new doctor, but it was also very emotional meeting for me.  Conjuring up those old, bitter feelings towards the last doctor were still very much present.  But it was water under the bridge and we had to move forward!
 

So the new chapter of our infertile lives was about to begin! 

One thing about this Doctor and his office is they have their act together!  Best of all I actually was seen by the Doctor EVERY time...who knew that Doctors are supposed to take care of their patients and see that they get the care they deserve :-)

Dr. Wonderful is not as conservative in his approach, which suited my personality very well!!!  After the first appointment I was sent on my way with a prescription to fill and meds on the way to being our first IUI!!!

Throughout the 1st medicated cycle I was monitored a lot, which never happened at the old place.  I could actually see the potential eggs and they would measure the sizes of each follicle to determine when the proper time for administering the HCG trigger shot should take place...they probably thought I was crazy when I asked what exactly they were looking at.  And the best part was the cost of 4 IUI's were covered by my insurance...do you think I knew this at the last doctors office; nope I paid out of pocket for that worthless cycle! 

This first IUI cycle just happened to fall on the week of our 2nd wedding anniversary, which was an interesting situation nightmare...not only did the meds make me a little coo-coo, but traveling with them made me even more psychotic!  My poor husband...every 5 minutes I would ask if I remembered to grab the meds and double check the cooler to make sure they were properly iced ;0)  After settling in and loading up on some Follistim I was much less of a basket case!  Husbands beware...this will make us crazy and in turn we will make you crazy...after the first cycle my husband finally understood...or just ignored me! LOL!  Although the first IUI resulted in a negative I felt much more confident and comfortable in moving forward with the future IUI(s). 

The 2nd medicated cycle we were heading to Napa for my birthday and take it from me...airlining with meds was way worse than the car trip was!  Make sure the hotel you are in offers a refrigerator in the room and if they do make sure it actually gets COLD!!  At this point I was over traveling while attempting to get pregnant!  After this cycle my cysts had remained from "feeding" them with all of the meds.  I had gone back for 2 months to see if they were shrinking, which they weren't, so I waited one more month.  But during this time my doctor didn't immediately jump to surgery to remove them...he said that he could aspirate them without surgery...I could of kissed him right there!!!  I knew at this moment he was the doctor that we would eventually do IVF with!  

Our 3rd and final IUI my husband had to fly out privately to NY and he was to airline commercially home as soon as he had landed...well just as our shitty luck would have it he was snowed in...no airlines were flying EXCEPT we found out that Spirit airlines was the only ones who had the balls to fly in the snow!!!  I joked with my husband and told him if we actually got pregnant this time I would name the baby Spirit!!  Talk about a hot mess...I was literally and figuratively.  While taking Follistim my hormones were obviously all over the place, but I felt like I was going through menopause at the age of 28!!  He actually made it home in the nick of time to play his part in this spectacle in baby making.

Of course as our luck has it we were unsuccessful on all 3 IUI's...but onward to IVF in the near future...hopefully!!!

From Cooper, the dog's perspective!

PLEASE let my mommy have a baby SOON so she will stop dressing me up!!!

Ovaries held up at gun point!

The infamous words from others: "Just relax...it will happen."  If I had heard that one more time I was going to scream and pull my hair out.  Yeah, ok maybe I'm a little high strung...but damn, give a girl a break!!  Here we were dating and not trying and definitely having WAY more sex than!! LOL! And nothing happened in that "relaxing state"!

Clearly this baby making wasn't going to happen naturally!!  My husband is a Pilot and he started traveling more and of course it happened to be during the times I would have been ovulating, which poses a huge dilemma in the baby making process!

I had gone to my regular doctor for my annual check up and told her my concerns.  She was amazing...she ran some blood work to omit the usual problems and wrote a script for a semen analysis (SA).  Once everything came back perfect...I felt like a failure; my body wasn't going to allow this process to be easy.  I especially felt like a failure towards my husband, which he thought was ridiculous since "we" were in this together.  I am so lucky to have him as my biggest supporter!  I just never envisioned this to be so hard and emotionally draining.

I was then referred to make an appointment for a consultation with...let's call her Dr. Untalented!!  The reviews/opinions towards this doctor were mixed; some loved her and others thought she had the worst bed side manner.  I loved her at first because I had no one else to compare her to since this was my first experience with an RE and slowly grew to dislike her VERY much.  The usual work up was done... to make sure my tubes were clear, etc.  Everything looked great...now let's make a baby ASAP please :-) 

On my first "official" visit I went alone because my husband was flying.  I was ok with that, but what I wasn't ok with was the nurses performing my ultrasounds...I am paying Dr. Untalented to get me pregnant NOT the nurses...WHAT!!  On the first visit they found several cysts on both of my ovaries, they decided they would put me on birth control to shrink them...hahahaha...joke was on them and me.  My cysts continued to get larger from the birth control; it was doing the opposite and feeding my cysts.  After a few months of the cysts not diminishing Dr. Untalented suggested that I have laparoscopic surgery.  I was ALL for anything that would help me get pregnant.  Here I was 27 years old having my 1st surgery for NO reason in the end.   

I had to wait approx 2 months in order to schedule my 1st IUI as long as the cysts were gone.  I was so excited about this first step towards making a baby and the doctor was very hopeful this would be it!  During this cycle I was given 5 mg of letrozole per day for 3 days to help with ovulation and sent on my way.  I was told to monitor with the OPK's and once I saw the surge to call and schedule the IUI for the following day.  Not only did I not get pregnant, but my cysts were back...OMG!!  I was devastated.  I felt like my ovaries were being held up at gun point and being forced not to release any eggs!! 

Whenever I look at my scars I get angry and have bitter feelings towards her lack of knowledge and horrid bed side manner.  Least to say this was my first and last cycle with this RE.  I honestly don't even count this as IUI #1.  Not to self and others…always seek a second opinion when it comes to surgery!  On to the next Doctor I went!

Confession of an infertile!

Over the last 3 years between my laparoscopic surgery, at least 100 doctor appointments, hopped up on fertility meds and 4 failed iui's ... I found comfort in reading other infertility blogs, which has been a form of therapy for me. I was too scared to face my own blog...but with a HUGE push here I am sharing our roller coaster to baby story!!

As a little girl I always dreamed of being apart of the American dream...husband, dog, house with a white picket fence and a house full of happy, laughing, loud children.  I can check all of those off except for the house full of babies...don't get me wrong there is nothing quiet about our house, but as each holiday and milestone passes I catch myself thinking and sometimes saying, "OUR kids should be here helping us...carve pumpkins, decorate the Christmas tree" and so on. 

As I am so often told...everything happens for a reason; I truly want to believe this.  Infertility has changed me and my thought process about a lot of things.  I hope soon I am proven wrong!  I am hopeful that our future will change soon :)

The beginning...dreaming of expanding our family of 3!

Baby dreaming has been inspired and established by my very best friend, Nicole. She has been along for the ride on this long road of unexplained infertility with us for several years! She has been my sounding board, cheerleader and the most supportive friend I could ask for! Friends are the greatest gift that anyone could ask for, even if they are not in the same "infertility" boat.

Our story:

Kenny and I met many moons ago because of mutual friends, but really "met" 5 1/2 years ago. Our relationship happened quite fast (as he would say...I just moved right in) LOL!! We happily talked about our dreams in regards to marriage, family and making a home for those dreams. Everything was perfect, our 1st fur-baby; Cooper arrived 7 months later, we purchased a house a year later and got engaged on the same day as our closing. Throughout this time we were "not not trying" and sadly enough we never got pregnant. Of course as most of our family and friends probably assumed since we eloped that we were pregnant...not so much! Little did we know that this would be one of the toughest hurdles we would have to overcome together.

Stay tuned for more details of our journey of infertility!